It was nighttime and I was roaming around on a street and around inside a store. I was with some family? But my ex was there too. When he showed up, I was taken aback, but secretly excited as well. I strove to treat him like I treat anyone else, like a friend, but he was very enthusiastic about seeing and being around me. I enjoyed his presence, but there was a nagging warning in the back of my mind. He was happy, friendly…almost too friendly. As we traveled on together with my group, he kept pace with me, smiling, walking closely. He tried to hold my hand, which I acquiesced for a bit, but dropped because it just felt wrong. I’d told him that he was never going to hear from me ever again, so why was this happening? All the happy, nostalgic feelings were overshadowed by the knowledge that this can’t possibly be real because we were no more, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want it to happen again because my brain knew and knows that we weren’t meant to be together…it would never work out. Just end up the way it already has. We stopped on the street to watch some rescue crews deal with a car crash and he, being in the line of work, was very interested in watching how and what they did. I remember looking at his face which was so interested and trying to learn what they were doing in that particular instance. He later tried to kiss me and as I went in to return the kiss, our lips only brushed because I pulled away. None of this was possibly real. He would never do that in public and initiate it. He was never that kind of happy person, eager to learn new things. It was always me who picked up his hand to hold it. HE was the one who’d drop it first. As much as I wanted to feel his arms around me or his large warmth, My brain knew it was just a dream. So, the dream faded.
I was at work now. Juggling 3 patients. A kid, a middle aged woman and one of my greyhound friends. As I jumped chairs to the kid, the woman I saw before, next door, suddenly got up and ran to the front desk. I jumped up to intercept her and she was jamming of my instruments into her mouth and asking me why there was a space around a tooth the tissue. I put her back into the chair, appalled that I’d forgotten to clean her up well, and explained to her in the mirror why some areas were deeper. She’d freak out with sensitivity when I went into a deeper pocket, but was oddly interested in it all. My boss was checking the kid next door and I felt awful that she basically ended up doing the rest of the appt for me. I could feel the disappointment from her, but I had yet another patient to attend to. It was my greyhound friend and his wife! He was in the chair. I was surprised and a little worried, but I go in there and he’s got some deep pockets too. I’m talking to them and tell him that before he leaves I’ll give him a tool that will be useful to him. I get up to get the dentist and get caught up in other things and before I know it, it’s time to go. I grab my bags and coat and head out, but see my neighbor and realize I forgot to get him the tools I said I’d give him. So I run back to the rooms to find things (find that a room has tape on it and turns out some lady was using it as a sort of daycare room for kids. I break the tape and go in to find some kids and adults watching tv, so I go through the drawers and can’t find what I’m looking for, so I go to the lab area and we…don’t have any left? After lots of rooting around, I pick up 3 items and run to him. He’s talking with 2 other men (some of whom I recognize) and I hand him the stuff, quickly explaining what they are for. He asks for a deeper explanation, so I open each one up to show him, apologizing about not having the right tools, but telling him to either look online or go to the store. As it turns out, the one I thought was a brush was in fact a food sauce brush, and the brush handle was more like an exacto knife type of deal. I laughed loudly and so did everyone else, except my coworker who thought it was weird, but I was OK with it because I respect my friend’s intelligence to not destroy himself. Then I walked home with my coworker in the crowded, narrow street of the city where I came across a very old friend who for some reason was half my size. I tapped her on the head and said hello. She turned and saw me, and happily gave me a big hug. I was in a hurry so I said goodbye and kept going, smiling to myself.
Lots of smiling and happiness in the dreams last night!