I haaaate bathroom dreams. Uuugh.
I’m driving by myself to the beach. No one is in the car with me and I’m just chillin’, but when I get there it’s amazing to see that many of the roads are closed off. I pretty much know how to get the house regardless, but I turn my GPS on anyways just in case. It’s kind of like a ghost town with just the locals wandering around on foot and cars. There are flooded streets and trees down, but my car has no trouble getting through that. It’s harder to navigate around the people milling around.
Then I’m not in my car anymore. I’m walking, having reached my destination. I guess there’s not much to do on the beach, so I decide I’m going to go work on the weeds that have collected in between the rubble of two buildings. I’d passed them on the way in, so I head over there now. It’s now not the beach, but a post-apocalyptic type of place. It’s going to be hard work, so I set up a boombox speaker for music and use it. Then all of the sudden, I can’t do that anymore because they’re shooting a movie in one of the abandoned buildings. I’m OK with that, wandering around rubble, when I realize that I’d left my music over there and they have to listen to it. It had been on a timer so it cut on every day from 7am to 5pm. You can hear and see the actor pretend to fall out of the parking garage, alongside my music. I eventually am able to go back to where I was living, also rubble. The room parts are OK, just a corner of the house is destroyed. I’m so happy to be able to sleep on my bed again. I look in to see that I’d been sharing the room with my sister. Some guy lives in one of the rooms down the hall. I had to pee really badly, so I find a large plastic container and decide I can use that, classical music coming in from outside. There are no doors and one of the walls is missing, but I don’t care much. Just as I was about to use it, my sister comes in. Ugh. I start gathering my stuff when suddenly it’s time we moved into a different home.
This home is fully functional and not destroyed, but it seems that it used to be a bar lounge. It’s currently empty of furniture, though. I have to live here with a bunch of other people, but my sister is there too. Everyone kind of knows each other (even though I don’t recognize anyone) so everyone is comfortable. There are tons of plants on the windowsill and I’m cold, so I go to close all of the windows to save heat. Everyone starts freaking out about their plants and I say, just leave them on the outside sill (made of brick) where they can get rain and sun and we can keep our heat inside. My sister grabs her special plants and takes them away. I’m like, whatever. While I’m trying to look around, a bee or wasp has gotten inside because of the plants and I’m freaking out. Everyone is laughing or not caring and I try not to, but the darn thing keeps following me around and landing on me.
Finally with everyone safe, I’ve been having to go to the bathroom forever. I head down to the basement. Everyone has set up several different “toilets.” They’re literally all ceramic cookie jar things with holes in it. I pick some up (ew) and examine them, trying to figure out how in the world I’d be able to use them. Then I see a larger one that has been unopened, so I undo the plastic wrap and look inside. This woman appears, sitting on one of the other ones and says, “yeah I wouldn’t eat that.” I re-examine the advertisement I’d ripped off the “toilet” and it implies that you can eat the cookies after you use the bathroom. Inside the top is a wrapped bag of brown cookies. I’m like, what? The lady just nods and laughs and I look in the lower part to see it is full of shredded mozzarella. I give her a quizzical look, but just shrug and get ready to poop since I really really have to go.
It cuts here to me back in that shared bedroom, looking for the pee container again. Apparently I hadn’t been back for a while and it was deserted there now. I find the container and now there are spider webs everywhere and I don’t really want to try and pee amidst spiders, so I work to remove the webs. There are 2 spiders in 2 different webs, so I return to my mom’s house to ask for a container. It looks suspiciously like the house I left down South. We’re moving back in apparently, so everything’s a mess. She’s not helpful at all, so I finally find some and go back to move the spiders. Finally, I can pee in peace. Relieved, then I see that the room is so unkempt, so I randomly decide to make the beds. There are some thin, old blankets to be used!
Cut back to the basement because I remembered I have to poop still. Another lady has shown up and they start whooping, telling me to “yeaaaah! Pull those blue panties down!” I’m mildly embarrassed, but whatever, in this time and place I guess this is how it is. Turns out, I was wearing pants, and my blue panties and for some reason black hiking shorts with the panty sling inside. Weird. I sit down to poop in the thing, trying not to fall inside, but then everyone in the housing unit comes spilling into the room, kids and all. I become very embarrassed and sink into it, but I HAVE TO GO SO BAD, so I keep trying to hurry it up without making grunting noises or anything, lest those ladies laugh at me again. However, it won’t come out of my butt, no matter how hard I try. It gets stuck halfway like there’s a block and I’m so humiliated with all the people around and I don’t know what to do, and where is the toilet paper and–
–I wake up. Turns out I’d had a wedgie while sleeping. UUUUUUGGGH