I hate bathroom dreams…they’re the worst! But let’s start the farthest back I can remember.
Somehow I had gotten my hands on 2 assassin’s creed articles of clothing! One was a woman’s long skirt, yellowish, flowing and with the Assassin’s emblem on it. The other was a man’s pants. Contrary to myself, I chose to wear the long skirt because it seemed more like the game! Even within the dream as I was either running away or towards something with a friend, I kept telling them that I never wear skirts, ever, but long skirts are OK (especially when it’s like the Assassins). There was this long stretch of stone road, empty next to the water. It led to a large stone gate of some sort and I sprinted down the way towards this arch either trying to assassinate someone or to get away from someone. There was a minor cutaway to an alternate time when I wore the pants instead, but my brain decided it liked the skirt better.
Jump to a backyard deck. It was large and the yard itself was a decent size, backed by trees. The sky was gray and getting to be evening time, but threatening to rain at the same time. I had all sorts of plants growing there and I vaguely remember some spider webs on them because the mosquitoes were attacking my flesh. Not uncommon. I go back inside and I can’t remember what happened here, but all of the sudden I’m back on the deck but this time my brother is with me and I’m exclaiming about all the fruits! The deck was butting up to the neighbor’s deck too and I think they had some plants, but not like mine. There was a pomegranate plant, tomato plant, and 3 trees of some sort of fruit. I only know that because I took my phone out and tried to take this cool outline photo of the 3 trees against the dusk sky. Try as I might I couldn’t get my hands to remain steady, so they all came out somewhat blurry, but rather cool. I pick a very ripe pomegranate off the tree, so ripe that it was starting to mold and fell right off the plant. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom about the plants. I took another look at the tomato plant, bursting with tomatoes and realized to my tremendous delight, that the thing I mistook for a very hardcore spider web was actually a massive round tomato (they were all green at the moment) almost guarded by the web. Like, easily 5x the size of the other tomatoes. I was thrilled beyond anything ever and took the pomegranate inside the house. My mom decided to move everything off of the deck so that I could power wash and re-seal the wood. I exclaimed that it’s too early because it’s still summer, the tree isn’t gone yet and also, I have to go to work, it’s not like I have the summer off, but I help bring things in.
Once further inside the house, we were on vacation. It was our first day at the beach house. I was wearing my swimming things and it was night so time to time to sleep. The bathroom I was using turned out to be the smallest thing you have ever seen with the oddest setup ever. When you walk in you see a very nice vanity (the bathroom must have just been renovated) facing the door, but it’s not backing a wall, behind it (not centered, just behind it) is the toilet and not 5 inches in front of that is the tub. I really had to poop and I needed to hurry up and poop so I could sleep or go somewhere, so I start pushing and standing on the vanity. Body doesn’t want to cooperate. Then the lights go out and I jump down and out to tell my brother to go flip the breaker. He says it’s not the switch, and realizes the problem is that he turned on the ceiling fan in his room. Whatever, it works now, so I go back and close the door and get on the sink again. Then it occurs to me that there’s a toilet in the bathroom, I just hadn’t seen it, so I go wedge myself around the vanity to sit on this cramped toilet. Colon finally starts giving and suddenly I realize that I never took off my swimming shorts. Oops. So I take those off and am finally properly using the toilet, but now I have to go wash my swimming stuff. Sigh. I get up to jump into the bath to take a shower and I wake up.
I haaaate poop and pee dreams. The dream ended because I was afraid of what I was doing in real life. Every time through the night a dream would change I’d get background music from Taylor Swift: Wildest Dreams.