I dreamed about him last night. Amongst other things that I don’t remember right now.
I had just arrived home and I knew that he was there somewhere, so I finished up what I was doing downstairs with a mix of annoyance, surprise, hesitation, anxiety and excitement. The house was this townhouse, but very large with many people in it. I make it upstairs and go into the dark room that is mine (the master). The TV was playing and it was too dark to make out anything in the room, but I thought I saw a lump on the bed. I go into the bathroom and quickly change out of my clothes into something comfortable but decent. I come out, turn on the light and there he is taking a nap in my bed. Coming up, I had rehearsed in my head what to say to him, and what I should do, but all of that flew out the window. As I say, “hey, what’re you doing here?” in a happier tone of voice than I had intended, he stretches his arms without getting up and I can’t tell if he opened his eyes or not (they’re small to begin with) but he’s smiling that half smile of his. I can’t help but smile too and my body moves for me. I run my hands along his arms and then his chest and then going into a hug (I’m standing), mentioning with much surprise from my part about how much weight he’s lost. His body wasn’t the same. He says he’s not skinny he’s still fat and I protest, but he cuts me off and tells me his arm and shoulder still hurts (just like it had been). I poke around and he turns onto his stomach. I test the should muscles and around the blade and he doesn’t say anything just smiles a bit into the pillow. He said he had been lifting weights with his dad, that’s why.
My brain is well aware that we are no longer together, but I want to help him, so I sit on his back and stretch his arms while feeling around to see if I can pinpoint the area. My body begins to respond like it used to but my brain has a mission. He’s still not indicating anything and seems to be enjoying the massage and stretching. I then tell him to get up and stand up and he does, but he’s being silly now and only sort of doing what I ask him. I tell him to put both arms out parallel to the ground and demonstrate for him. He’s still doing that small smile while pretending to be inept so that I have to move his arms for him. Then I ask him to turn the palms up and point his fingers to the ground. He “messes up” for a little while and I start getting irritated but not at the same time. I was intending to do an assisted stretch to help.
Then all of the sudden everything is thrown into a video game and several other people are in the mix, only their heads floating around metallic cubes on a grid, since that’s how the game is set up. Something about the fate of the world resting with us and then we’re under attack and have to defend our position. I lose track of him altogether, but I know he’s there.